royal humor - satire

Misquoted Prince

Did you know that a lot of things printed about our dear heir to the throne that comes from "reliable sources" and "people close to the prince" are actually just a bunch of hanger-ons with an ear for eavesdropping? Not only that, these "close friends" of William's can't seem to get their stories straight which is why very few articles are printed about the shy prince.

Remember the article about William wanting to dress up as a badger for the country side protest? Turns out, a nosey neighbor overheard William saying, "I'm thinking of dressing up as a badger for the protest" when in actuality, the prince said, "I'm drinking a lesser pint lager with a biscuit."

And remember when William was quoted cussing out a photographer while hunting? The papers quoted William as saying, "F*cking piss off Postlewaite!" When in fact the prince was exclaiming, "Shucks I have to piss and it can't wait!" What the papers DIDN'T report on was William's inability to "hold it" as the horse jostled the poor lad's bladder into submission.

William has also been misquoted during press interviews. But not because of a misguided sinister reporter, but because the Prince himself didn't not understand the question. "William day dreams a lot and has an attention span of about 20 seconds so when you're talking to him, he'll miss half of what you say and then reply with something completely off topic." said a reliable close friend of the prince. "I don't know what he's thinking about. But I would guess probably sex."

This misadventure of answers was noted most significantly during William's 18th birthday interview. A reporter asked William about how he felt he did on his A-level exams and William replied, "I wish I could have done more. The best part was I suffered so much from it." Hence, William has been labeled the bookish intellectual ever since. No one knew that William misunderstood the reporter and thought he was asking about his love of swimming and water polo while at Eton.

It's fair to say that as long as William continues to hide in the shadows of his sheltered and pampered world, we the public will continue to speculate, guess and hypothosize about what he's really like in person. And that's okay. One so young with the burdens he must carry on his shoulders for the rest of his life deserves a little mystery and wonder. Let him keep his privacy in the confines of University. Let him continue to avoid the press throughout his youth. The less we hear of or about him, the more charming, intelligent, charismatic, shy, thoughtful and sincere he seems to become.

But then again, he really is like it in person. I should know. I'm really one of his close personal friends. But don't take my word for it.....
Prince William Caught Not Wearing Any Underwear

by Amanda Hugnkiss

FIFE, SCOTLAND - It was "revealed" to shocking residents of the small town of Fife earlier today that star student Prince William is not wearing undergarments of any kind beneath his normal clothes, which today consisted of a green pocket-tee-shirt and leopard print zubas.

"I just decided to let the boys hang free today," William was heard explaining to a friend who was pointing out the obvious hole in William's backside. Unfrettered, William continued to refer to his phallus, which, I later found out goes free and unrestricted inside William's pants 90% of the time.

"I only wear boxers when I wear a tux and that's just because it's rented." he said. "When I can finally get a tux of my own, then the boys will be free to roam. But for now, my pop thinks I'm still growing and that investing in a tuxedo would be a waste of money." William then continued in a low grumble, "HE gets to buy $5,000 suits and throw them on the floor but god forbid his son own a nice tux, no, I gotta rent one like a common loser!"

When yelled through the streets by this reporter that William had no underwear on, most females reacted in a negative fashion. (Fife was having a sale on Hagis that day and lasses aged 50 - 90 were lining the streets.)

"I find that highly inappropriate." said one local girl who was a quite a looker back in the 40's. "Especially for the future king. Is he gay?"

Another remarked, "Just what is he trying to prove? That he's a wanker who could never love anyone more than himself? Haven't we seen enough of that from his father?" In response, William went skipping down the street causing his "royal jewels" to bounce and flap. Two elderly ladies were treated for concussions after fainting. It is unclear at this time if they fainted because they were disgusted or impressed.

When I suggested to William that boxers would allow his phallus more freedom of movement while still providing comfort and support, thus being a viable alternative to underwear, he appeared momentarily confused.

"I'm naked under here you know." said William to this reporter with a wink. Having taken a gander at the hole in his zuba's, this reporter quickly retreated with giving a response.
A Gift That Stands Out

Sources say Hooters is like a PG-rated, hetero-male cheerleader fantasy.

In the annals of gift-giving, certain moments stand alone.
In the year 32 B.C., Mark Antony gave Cleopatra the Riviera. In A.D. 36, God gave mankind his only son. And in the spring of 2003, Prince Charles is showing how proud he is of his "only" son (he's on the "outs" with William lately) he's giving him, on his graduation from Eton, the most wonderful, inspiring, thoughtful gift an heir to the throne of England could possibly desire. He's giving Harry his own Hooters restaurant in London.

"I have a lot of faith in my son Harry that he's a heterosexual," says Prince Charles, "unlike that OTHER boy..."

"I'm very excited for him because I like the concept. It's a good family restaurant with good morals that I can stand behind." added a drooling Charles who never once looked up from a picture of the waitresses.

Hooters is a chain of roadhouse-style restaurants along the lines of Chili's or Chevys, but with the added value of waitresses in orange running shorts and décolletage-friendly T-shirts. The chain's logo features an owl, suggesting, speciously, that the name refers to something other than boobs. There are currently no London Hooters franchises; if all goes well, Prince Harry will open the region's first as soon as the contractors finish remodeling it. Michael Fawcett will be consulted in planning the menu and Prince Charles is supervising the landscaping.

Prince Charles always encouraged Harry to come up with a dream business plan instead of going into the harsh military, with the promise that he'd help him realize it through the help of the Prince's Trust. When Harry suggested buying and running a Hooters, Prince Charles plunked down a reported quarter-million dollars to help Harry realize his London dream.

It takes a village to raise a child, and Prince Charles has always entrusted other people with the raising of his son. With the royal family's long-standing commitment to family values in mind, they convened a uniquely qualified panel of consulting experts, including performers and entrepreneurs in the London live adult entertainment industry, to proffer advice aimed at making sure Harry's London fantasy is a happy one.

"I think it's going to really generate a lot of business in the community." remarked Harry. "I think we're going to find a lot of new clients, because 18-year-old girls are impressionable and here they'll have a job to keep them from getting into trouble. Plus they'll be able to use their god given assets for tips. It's a win-win situation."

"You know, London is the city where everybody ends up eventually. Everybody comes here for something, and if you want orange hot pants, you go to Hooters."

And just because he's working with scantily clad, buxom, post-teen women, Harry knows the job isn't free from hard work.

"Dealing with all those girls is going to be a challenge," Harry explains. "But I'm used to fighting off the lasses all the time. It's my machismo - I'm just too hot for them. But at Hooters, it'll have to be strictly professional. They'll have to understand that I'm the boss and they are to do what I say - no matter what. I'm looking forward to it. I like being in a position of power. I'm a natural."

Considering the outlook for Harry to become the next King of England over his lesser known and less popular brother, this reporter would say that running a Hooters restaurant is just the training and experience he needs to rule effectively.
Dangerous Lives of the Eton Boys

Did anyone get the number of that barstool?
It must have been quite a sight... a near-naked prince careening down a London alley on a motorised barstool, with his backside on fire.

The stunt landed the contraption's owner, Prince Harry, in trouble with police - and earned him a date with the judiciary this week, when he was sentenced to 200 hours' community work. The sentence was immediately dismissed and the case thrown to the shredder once St. James Palace came through the door. "We can't have news like this reaching the public." said a SJP spokesperson. "What would they think of him? That he's drunken, spoiled, bored, unintelligent?? Oh, wait..."

The spare to the heir confessed to having "had a few" and said he had every right to be on the street on a motorized barstool which he claimed could reach 80kmh. "I made it in shop. I got an F but what the fuck do I care? It's a bloody great idea and it works mate! I just had to test it out. I don't bloody care what the teacher says! It's fucking brilliant!"

The flames come courtesy of one of Prince Harry's party tricks, which involves a piece of rolled-up newspaper, a cigarette lighter and... needless to say, it all backfired.

The neighbours didn't see the funny side of things, nor did they realize it was Prince Harry causing the raucous when they called the police.

Prince Harry was upset taxpayers' money was wasted on prosecuting him but conceded driving a vehicle with no warrant and no registration was probably pushing the law a bit far. "Yeah, I suppose I should feel bad about wasting the taxpayer's money," said a sobering-up Harry. "But then again, we waste enough already in my family so what's the difference? At least this was fun!"

His older brother William, (who has never done any such fool hardy shenanegans) will be displeased in his younger brother no doubt. "Why do you have to mention his name?" yelled Harry. "What? You can't sell the bloody article if it only mentions me? Oh yeah! I'm not the important one, am I? Fuck you! Fuck all of you!"

Prince Harry then grabbed his motorized bar stool and escaped through the police station front door unaware he forgot to put his pants back on. Members of SJP just shook their heads while idle police officers said, "That's your problem now. Good luck mate!"
Prince William Allegedly Urinated on Chicken

Prince William was charged Tuesday with urinating on packages of
chicken in a supermarket cooler and is the first person to face a new
food-supply protection law.

The heir to the throne was arrested late Monday after employees of
the store identified his photograph in a lineup. "It wasn't me!",
declared the Prince. "I was never in that store! There are lots of
guys out there who look like me. I've been cloned! I'm being framed
here!"

At William's arraignment Tuesday in the District Court, barrister
John Smith pleaded innocent on his behalf. Prince Charles' valet's
secretary's assistant posted a $2,500 bond but was told he could not
consume alcohol while on bond. Prince William's flask and personal
stash of moonshine were confiscated.

The food-supply law, which passed in 2002, made it illegal to expose
agricultural products to contaminants or diseases such as foot-and-
mouth disease. "They should check out my father's farms then!"
slipped William. "Oops. Didn't mean to say that. Can I retract
that statement? Damnit. Where's my spokesperson to speak for me??"

William was charged under the section of the law that makes it
illegal to expose a "raw agricultural commodity" to any
contaminant. "That's an insult! I'm a blue-blooded royal! My pee
is hardly a contaminant! I take offense!"

The incident occurred Friday when a store employee saw someone in an
area of the store that is closed to the public. The employee told
police that he followed the man into a walk-in cooler and saw him
urinating. "It wasn't me! I swear!!"

Two packages of chicken worth a total of $460 had to be disposed of,
store managers reported. "Oh come on!! I didn't pee on THAT much
chicken!" slipped the Prince again. "Oops. Can I retract that
statement again? WHERE'S MY SPOKESPERSON?!?!?"

Prosecutors charged William with criminal trespass, criminal damage
to property and endangering the food supply, all misdemeanors. He was
sentenced to five slaps on the back of his hands with a ruler.
Prince William's Elitist Accent Isn't Fooling Anyone
I.P. Freely

According to sources close to him, it was revealed yesterday that Prince William's British Aristocratic accent is a complete fraud, and is not fooling anyone.

Crystal Shanda Lear, a fellow St. Andrew's student, explained the details at a press conference after having been duped by the Prince to give him oral sex and was then dumped immediately. "He told me it was my duty as one of his future subjects." she vengefully stated. "Afterwards, he said 'Hey thanks Karen. Not great, but I feel better.' and I said, 'My name's Crystal.' and he just kept walking like he never saw me!"

"I don't know his motives for pretending that he has this elitist accent," she said of Prince William, "I suppose it has to do with the fact he is a prince and lives a life of privelage and wants to fit in. But the fact of the matter is, when he lets his guard down and forgets to put on the accent, he talks like a California surfer with his 'Duuude' this and his 'Whoa duude!' that! He actually talks like a dumb nut slacker who gets stoned a lot. That intellectual elitist attitude of his is such a joke!"

Lear says that while she and other female students were charmed at first by William's accent initally, they slowly realized that it was not authentic.

"First and foremost, he kept slipping up," she said. "He'd be talking in this really cool posh accent, and then, all of a sudden, lapse into surfer lingo. It usually happened after he'd had a few pints of Bud Light. And that's another thing! How many artistocrats do you know who drink Bud Light! You can't get anymore white trash than that!"

In addition, Lear says William became evasive when asked about his accent switcheroo. Once when Lear confronted him on his Californina beach slang, William stared blankly for 30 seconds then exclaimed, "Look! A distraction!" then took off running.

"Having an elitist accent, in the eyes of others, is a sign of sophistication and class," she said. "We see icons such as James Bond, who is teeming with suave character, and we think, 'Wow, he is so cool.' I think that's what William wanted. For people to think he was cool and sophisticated. But he's not. He's a clumsy dork with an IQ of 70!"

Members of the royal family were unavailable for comment. However I did manage to phone William himself with the help of a sophisticated tracking devise worthy of James Bond. In his best obviously faked intellectual vocabulary voice, William stated, "Naturally I'm disfleeced and incandercessent with rug at these obsurt alligators." The phone was then heard to be grabbed out of William's hand by a guard who remarked, "William! What have we told you about speaking in public!" We then heard William remark, "Duuudde! Whoa man!" before the phone was quickly disconnected and the number immediately changed.
Royal Flash for Royal Trash

Palace Enraged as Princes William and Harry Turn Their Back on the Monarchy to Pursue Musical Dream

LONDON - St. James and Buckingham Palace were united in tears and disappointment as they learned both heirs to the throne have decided to take their holiday hobby of music to the level of full-time career.

For the last 3 years, William and Harry - along with a couple of school mates - have played together in a punk band called "Royal Trash". Staff at the palaces thought nothing serious would come of it and Prince Charles himself encouraged it, remodeling the basement of his Highgrove mansion to include a stage, sound system, and fully stocked bar for the boys to practice.

"They're princes afterall." said a palace spokesperson. "We never expected them to take this little hobby seriously. Not to mention they're bloody awful. How could they even consider such a drastic move?"

Indeed, both boys have enjoyed playing guitars as well as singing - including showcasing their talents at local karaoke pubs. But as a palace spokesperson stated, "Singing karaoke in front of friends when drunk is one thing, but taking that as a hint that you might have talent is a bit overzealous of them. I mean, they're nice boys. But honestly, no musical ability whatsoever."

Why all of sudden?

The news of the princes' abdication seems to have come out of no where. However, we have learned since that the boys are in dire need of more practice if they hope to achieve their dream of being the opening act for Eminem in June. Not content with once a month practice sessions, the boys decided to tell the palaces of their plans in order to secure more practice time.

Both boys are huge fans and it is known that they wanted to attend Eminem's concert on William's 21st birthday. But no one expected the event to mark William's abdication from the throne as well.

"Naturally, I was shocked." said Prince Charles. "I was numb at first, then I cried for hours on my valet's lap. Finally, Camilla slapped me back to reality reminding me that I now have a greater chance than ever to become King very soon. Because surely this will cause mummy some distress - hopefully to her heart." Charles then smiled slyly before chuckling in a hearty evil laugh.

What were the boys thinking?

When asked to comment on their sudden change of heart to their family in order to pursue punk music stardom, Prince Harry exclaimed, "What fucking change of heart?" Harry then rambled on non-sensically in a series of cuss words while chugging a bottle of Absolut and kicking his doc martens into an amplifier. Fearing for my safety, this reporter turned attention to William - who was sitting calmly on a bean bag chair petting a kitten.

"It's quite simple really," said William. "I've always been musical and poetic. Being in a band is quite natural to me. I have no desire to continue playing this charade the palace makes me do. It's not me. I don't give a bloody damn about art or geography. And I'm certainly never going into the military. I hate getting up that early. Eventually we hope to get our cousins, Peter and Zara in the band."

Suddenly there was a crash in the room. I turned and saw Harry smashing a guitar into the bass drum as the other two band members struggled to pull him away. "Don't worry about Harry," said William. "That's just his way. I'm the one who writes the songs - I'm the sensitive one. Harry brings in the street cred - he's the rebel. So he's more of the image - the punk appeal so to speak."

This reporter tried to tell William that punk was more a genre of music and a political statement than an image but William just looked up at the ceiling and said, "Would you like to hear a tune?"

As I sat on the bean bag chair, left warm and sticky by his royal thoughtfulness, and listened to what only hyenas and crows could classify as music, I was reminded of another young royal who decided to pursue a career in music - Princess Stephanie of Monaco. Well, we all know how well that turned out. I thought about warning the two punk prodigies but the urge to later watch them get booed off stage and have tomatoes thrown at them was just too tempting.

I meekly applauded their first song, "Suck It Til You Chuck It" which left a ringing in my ear I still feel to this day. I was about to leave when William said, "This next song I wrote after showering with a bunch of lads after playing rugby. It's called 'Lick My Love Pump.'" As Harry screamed obscenities into the microphone and William plucked some bass strings, I quickly forgot about my ear on the way to the bathroom to free my intestines of the burritos I'd had earlier - thanks to the vibrating noise amplified next to me.

And as I snuck out the fire escape admist broken windows and thrown beer bottles I couldn't help but say to myself, "Don't quit your day job boys." - whatever that is. In the meantime, God Bless the Queen!
Possible Phone Calls to Prince William Via St. Andrews Nightline:

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello, Nightline. You share, we care."
Caller: "Hi. Um, I'm a first year student and a couple of months
ago I got drunk at this club and had sex with a guy in the bathroom.
Now I'm pregnant. What should I do?"
PW: "Oh shit! Is it mine??"

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. You spill, we drill."
Caller: "Good evening. I think I have a problem and I need to talk to someone before I do something I'll regret."
PW: "Good idea. Wish I'd thought of that. What's the situation?"
Caller: "Well, I'm a 20 year old student and I'm becoming more and more attracted to my 16 year old 1st cousin. What should I do?"
PW: "I don't see a problem."
Caller: "You don't think being attracted to your cousin is wrong?"
PW: "In my family it's encouraged."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. You cry, we lie."
Caller: "Hi. Um... I'm a bit nervous and embarrassed to call here. You see, I've been a closet gay male for many years now and I've been playing straight for so many years, I don't know how to come out now and if people will accept me."
PW: "Uncle Eddie?"

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. Your pain is our gain."
Caller: "Hi. I heard Prince William is working here now. Are you him?"
PW: "No. Prince William wouldn't be caught dead talking to losers."
Caller: "That's a mean thing to say. What if I'm suicidal?"
PW: "If you're calling a suicide hotline hoping to talk to the Prince then maybe you SHOULD oust yourself."
Caller: "You need to get some perspective!"
PW: "And YOU need to get a life! NEXT!"

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. Talk is cheap and we're easy."
Caller: "Hello. I need some financial help. I'm flat broke and I don't know how I'm going to pay for my books next quarter. Any ideas how I can get some cash?"
PW: "Just talk to your advisors about dipping into your trust fund."
Caller: "I don't have a trust fund. My parents are middle class and I'm here on scholorship."
PW: "Well then just take out some cash from your Visa Platinum Gold card."
Caller: "I don't have a credit card. I need a job."
PW: "Oh, well then I can't help you. I've never had a job nor would I have any idea how to get one. Sorry, you're on your own dude."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. We're all mad here."
Caller: "Greetings. I'm having some issues with my significant other. She nags me all the time about wanting to get married, she's refusing to play the sex games I like, she's become increasingly jealous and only bathes once a week."
PW: "Dad, I told you to quit calling me here."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. You fudge it we judge it."
Caller: "Uh, hi. Ummm....I'm having an affair with my professor and I want to break it off with him but he says he'll fail me if I do. What should I do?"
PW: "I had the same problem. Stick it out and you'll get an A. Totally worth it. I didn't have to do any homework and he lets you use his hottub any time you want."
Caller: "But isn't that dishonest? Don't you want to get your grades by earning them?"
PW: "Huh? Not following..."
Caller: "Didn't you feel used and violated?"
PW: "Story of my life."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. If you're sad we're glad."
Caller: "Hi, I have a weird situation. My girlfriend is very sexually uninhibited and wants me to experiment with some S&M type kinky stuff. She wants to dominate me and spank me and I'm uncomfortable with that. But yet, I don't want to upset her. What should I do?"
PW: "Run."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. Your pain is our gain."
Caller: "Hi. I'm very lonely and sad all the time and I can't seem to shake it. Nothing makes me happy. Should I seek professional help?"
PW: "No. Just ignore your feelings and put them aside. Smile for the cameras, look cheerful and pleasant, shake hands, make small talk and keep a stiff upper lip. Quit being such a baby."
Caller: "But isn't that bad for your health? Won't doing that send you to an early grave?"
PW: "One would hope..."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. You suffer, we buffer."
Caller: "Can't sleep....clowns will eat me....can't sleep....clowns will eat me...can't sleep...clowns will eat me..."
PW: "Harry, what have I told you about buying the cheap shit?"

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. If you're sad, we're glad."
Caller: "I'm failing all my classes and I'm going to be kicked out! Is there anything I can do?"
PW: "They don't kick you out just because you're failing your classes. I should know."
Caller: "Yes they do! They sent me a letter saying so!"
PW: "Oh, well then, nice knowin' ya."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. If you're cryin', we're smilin'."
Caller: "Hi. I've been dating two girls at once and I can't decide between the two which I want to be with. How do I choose?"
PW: "Why choose at all? Get a third."
Caller: "A third? Won't that get complicated?"
PW: "Only if they live in the same town."

*ring ring*

PW: "Hello Nightline. Talk is cheap and we're easy."
Caller: "Hi. Do you know where I can get tested for a sexually transmitted disease?"
PW: "Oh yeah. Go to North Havorton Hall on the west bank - it's the tall skinny building next to the engineering library with the broken front step. Go to the 2nd floor, take a left then a right at the end of the hall. The third door on the right, next to the water fountain (which don't drink from because the water tastes rusted) there's a nurse's office. Ask for Phyllis. Her needle pricks don't hurt and she'll give you a lollipop after.
Caller: "Wow! Thanks! You sound like you've been there before!"
PW: "Umm...I have to hang up now. Good luck with that."
What Type of Prince William Fan are You?

1) When did you first start having an interest in Prince William?
2) You bump into Prince William in a bar, what would you do?
3) You read that Prince William has a girlfriend, your first reaction is…
4) On a typical weekday evening you are…
5) What pet name have you used, or would most likely use, for your significant other?
6) You're invited to have tea with the Queen. What's the first question you'd want to ask her?
7) Pretend you're allowed to spend one hour alone with Prince William. What would you do?
8) What would you like the first words William says to you to be?
9) Your daydreams include…
10) What's your opinion of Camilla Parker-Bowles?
11) Your favorite picture of William...
12) If you saw a picture of William naked you'd…
13) Your ideal vacation would be…
14) Your perfect wedding would include...
15) You keep up with news articles about William…
16) What kind of gift would you most want to receive from Prince William?
17) If William wasn't a Prince, what other position would you like to see him in?
Add up how many you had of each. If you had mostly…

A's, you are
Mother Figure (aka: Secret Cradle Robber who pictures William in speedos cleaning your pool)
Typically: an older woman/man usually a long time fan of Diana's whose obsession transferred to William after she died. Tend to post often about her/his hatred of Camilla and Charles. Looks to "educate" other younger fans. Usually has children of her own.

B's, you are Cinderella Wannabe (aka: White Picket Fencer)
Typically: young girl who dreams of a knight in shining armor and thinks being a princess would be the ultimate ideal life despite all facts and tales that state otherwise. Lives in a fantasy that William is sensitive and loving at all times. Likes to also believe he may be a virgin. Is destined to be divorced 3 times before age 30.

C's, you are Screaming Teen (aka: Like Total Sorority Sister)
Typically: teen girl or early 20's gal whose passion for Prince William is a well kept secret - except for the framed picture of him under your pillow. You fantasize about him more than you would actually consider a trip to England to meet the lad. The good news is, you'll get over your obsession soon enough and will be able to live in society without incidence.

D's, you are
Royal Junkie (aka: Mr./Ms. Dullard)
Typically: a male or female over age 20 who is obsessed with the Monarchy as a whole. Probably knows the entire British royal history better than the Queen. Tends to get wrapped up in minute details no one has asked nor cares about or has pretended to be one of Prince William's friends on an internet chat room. Can't remember the last time he/she had sex.

E's, you are
Borderline Stalker (aka: Tabloid Journalist Apprentice)
Typically: can't go a day without your Prince William "fix". You read everything about him. You talk obsessively about him. You secretly believe every word every written about him but public declare you think it's all rubbish. You know every detail about him and show disgust at those who don't know the basics - like what his dog's name is and what body soap he uses in the shower. Your hunger for more lurid stories and candid photos drives you on. But don't worry, you are probably just like every other middle class American.

F, you are
Mistress Miranda (There is only one Mistress Miranda, and if you are not her, then you are a Miranda Poseur) Typically: drunk, sarcastic, easily offensive and misunderstood. She cares little for William and lets him know it on a daily basis. Her obsession is not with William or with the royal family. It is only with herself. The more you encourage her, the less likely she is to leave.

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royal humor - satire